Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Jack's Muslim Jokes Part 29

Redneck Muslim Jokes, Part 5

1 comment:

Redneck MUSLIM Jokes Part 5 said...

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have started a fan club in Iran for American Idol reject William Hung.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you received a Ham and a Christian Bible for Easter.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you think ‘Passover’ is time for doing the dog instead of the sheep.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you’re an ‘OPPOSITE’ (a person who washes with water and then douches themselves with dirt).

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your family members are used in Prophylactic (condom) and Birth Control Pill commercials.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your Stair Master has a spit cup.
You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your wife tells you she has crabs and you think she went to the fish market.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you confuse ‘Earth Day’ with a rally for the second coming of Mohammed.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you use a leaf blower to clean up your room.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you can’t stop reading The Encanto Man’s Jokes on the Internet.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your wife is so ugly she had to have a veil tattooed to her face.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you are a direct decedent of Mohammed’s daughter.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you use the zoom function on your video camera to make your cock look bigger on your home made sex videos.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have all the old TV reruns
of the ‘Beverly Hillbillies’ and every morning you get up and yell out, “Woooo Doggies, It’s a great day, we escaped another night
of not being exterminated by the U.S. Marines.”

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your wife got a Hillary Rodman Clinton hair cut including dying her hair blond.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If all your wives, daughters, and girlfriends have buns in the oven but you never did any of the baking.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you were too drunk to fuck the DONKEY.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your wife has a picture of Burt Reynolds in her pocketbook.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have fathered more children than an orphanage.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you’re a commodities broker specializing in ‘Pork Bellies.’

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you’re the most butt ugly inbred mother-fucker in the entire Islamic World.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If the Salvation Army refuses to haul away your stuff because they claim even the poor wouldn’t want it.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you think Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is a song about pedophiles.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have tried to auction off your children on E-Bay.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your son collects Barbie Dolls.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have more than two subscriptions to adult magazines.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your wife would rather have SEX with a Pig because their orgasm last 30 minutes and you can’t last 30 seconds from beginning to end.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your daughter is 32 and she just went on her first date with a man outside of her own family.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you TALK like your mouth is full of marbles and you haven’t taken a shit in two weeks.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If at least one member of your family had a heart attack from chasing a headless chicken around in the desert heat.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you’ve got a sign outside of your tent that says, ‘Sand 4 Sale.’

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your idea of a bubble bath is a FART in a mud hole.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you need a pair of tweezers and a magnifying glass to masturbate.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you pick your feet in public.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your sister is like a 7-11, open all night!

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If when you have sex with your wife there are at least 3 or more animals at the foot of the bed watching.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your neighbor called you a slimy toad licker and you replied, “How’d ya’al know that, it was a secret.”

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If that filthy beard of yours looks
like a ‘Birds Nest.’

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you think being a ‘Towel Head’ is cool.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your mother told you to go play and your father caught you behind the rock with a copy of Playgirl Magazine jerking off.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you had to have your eyebrows tattooed on because you burnt them off playing with homemade explosives.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your pet monkey has to teach you how to use your new Nintendo Game Boy Player.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your wife keeps a spittoon cup next to the bed.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your wife is so fat you had to glue all the lamps to the tables so she wouldn’t knock them off walking through the room.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If the FBI and Interpol both have wanted DEAD or Alive Posters out on you.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have the only house in Iraq with an American Flag painted on the roof.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your son is a butcher, and has the best fresh cut pork chops and ham in the Middle East.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If people call you a ‘Dickhead’ and you think it’s a compliment.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have on more than one occasion thrown tear gas grenades back at the Israeli security troops.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you make pee soup from real pee.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you need a dictionary to spell your children’s names.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have your own slot or pachinko machine.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If one or more of your wives combs her pubic hair with a wire brush.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you belong to ‘Pedophiles R Us.’

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your goat wouldn’t make good buzzard meat.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have traded your wife for a Camel.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you paste your family photos in the Koran.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you are the son of a Pig Farmer.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you brag to your friends over a cell phone about how many Americans you have killed but hide in the deepest darkest cave you can find.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you tried to convert a Jew to Islam and he shoved an Uzi up your ass.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your local cleric has to climb a palm tree and use a portable loud speaker for ‘Prayer Call.’

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your used Russian Tank whistles in the wind from the rust.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your daughter waxes her hairy bush.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If at least one member of your family was so stupid they blew themselves up because the weight of too much explosives strap to their body caused them to tripped, fall down, and set it off.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If all of your daughters are into Goth.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your oldest son loves to play in a sandstorm.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your wife used a rat to gnaw the mold off her face.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you fill your sandbags with Camel Dung instead of sand.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you’re one of the dumb-asses that really believe Virgins are waiting for you after you die in Jihad.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you are the local traveling sales rep for Coors Beer.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your wife was disobedient so you made her watch while you had sex with the dog.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your children can’t read or write but know how to shoot an AK47 by the age of eight.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you use two sand dunes, a big pile of rocks, and a nest of cobras as directions to your home.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your pants belt is made of hemp.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your only source of income is selling stolen Iraq and Kuwait treasurers.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your wife has to pick the scabs off the inside of her pussy so it doesn’t feel like sandpaper when you have sex with her.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you play the game ‘Twister’ naked with your tribal buds.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you tried to smuggle illegal aliens into the USA and employ them at WalMart.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you squat like a dog to pee.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you are a Jihad Warrior and offered to smoke a piece pipe with an Israeli soldier.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your wife can smoke an old stogie through her used worn out pussy.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have started construction
on the ‘Second Ark.’

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your son shits in the same place as the dog!

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you changed your tune from Holy War to Holy Shit when you see the U.S. Marines coming.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If Saddam Hussein is your hero.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your nickname is Abdullah Fuckbar.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you come from a long line of Camel Jockeys.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you actually ‘Play’ with your children.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you constantly talk about the glorious Jihad Battle where you had the Israelis out numbered 20 to 1 and they still kicked your ass.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have more than two "bin’s" in your name.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you live in Mindanao Philippines.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If gunpowder were brains you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your dog ran away from home.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your satellite is tuned only to the Arabic Al Jazeera TV Station.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you constantly eat chicken that has not been Halal certified.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your tongue is black from licking too many dead donkeys’ asses.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have been observed on more than one occasion having anal SEX with dead Iraqi soldiers.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your idea of a gourmet meal is having roasted cockroaches.
You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you cut the fingers out of your gloves.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you think ‘fasting’ during Ramadan means starving your goats.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you can eat a whole roasted leg of lamb by yourself.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you beat your wife and pet the dog.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you wear a grenade around your ugly neck.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you carry around a gas siphon hose but you don’t own a vehicle.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If shit were brains and you farted you would loose the only intellect capabilities you ever had.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you think it is more important to read the Koran than get a real education.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you were born in a refugee camp.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you race scorpions for entertainment.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have to jerk your Camel off to get it to move.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you would rather eat a goat’s
balls than some good Texas BBQ Pork Ribs.
You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you shit in one hand and pick your nose with the other.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your uncle has tried to smuggle poisonous snakes onto an airplane.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you’ve got the deepest foxhole in your neighborhood.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you couldn’t make the grade as an Al Quida member so you were forced to join Abu Sayyaf, Black September, Hamas, or another low life group of ass wipe terrorist.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your daughter’s favorite doll is Ms. Piggy.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you couldn’t spell Ali properly so your son’s name is Allah.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you wear a beanie looking cap.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you sold your daughter into Jihad for a Donkey Cart.


You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your father strapped explosives
to his ass and he is now referred to as the town ‘Firecracker.’

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you’re a Hindu Yogi practitioner.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you’re a stinking Malaysian wannabe Muslim.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you sniff nerve gas to see if it works.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have on more than one occasion tipped your truck over for having too many people riding in the back.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you go to Paris France to watch the Can Can Dancers.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If a deadly cobra bit you on your cock and the neighbor’s 10-year-old daughter offered to suck the poison out.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you just can’t remember not to piss in the wind.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If other terrorist use you as a training dummy at the camp.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you once walked 100 miles over a dry hot desert just so you could get a pork sandwich, a glass of wine, and a Sudanese black whore.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If at Yon Kipper you visit a Hebrew Temple for Jewish prayers.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your wife is so ugly you’d rather be with the Sheep.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you stare at a fish lips after you catch it.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your youngest son lives in a garbage can and tells everyone his name is ‘Oscar the Grouch.’

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If the smell of your daughter menstruating drives your Camel wild.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have participated in more than one terrorist activity and are still alive to talk about it.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you’re the only one in your village that was rejected by Osama bin Laden for his Jihad cause.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your children grew up sucking their thumb after putting it up their ass.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you run the local brothel and
all the women are your sisters.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you put a leash on your pet scorpion and take it for a walk around the neighborhood.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you wanted to show you’re a somebody so you shaved the hair off your Camel’s ass and made
a jacket out of it.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you give lessons to local tribesman on the proper way to fuck a goat.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you constantly sing a tune to yourself ‘Jig-a-boo, Jig-a-boo.’

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have killed so many Jews your friends nicknamed you ‘Little Adolph.’

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have the complete set of Britney Spears video tapes.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If more than one of your family women are professional mud wrestlers.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If everyone else in the tribe has a stash of weapons buried but you have wine coolers in your underground bunker.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you use an old blown up Russian truck bed for a swimming pool.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If taking a shower means standing under a Camel while it’s peeing.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your mother spent time in one of Saddam’s Rape Rooms and came out with a smile on her face.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you think ‘Sand Script’ is drawing circles in the desert in your backyard.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you repeatedly watch the movie ‘Helter Skelter, the True Story of Charles Manson.’

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you’re the only one in your neighborhood that speaks Hebrew.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you live in Somalia and like fried chicken and watermelon.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your wife died six months ago but you haven’t buried her yet.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have the only Flag Concession Stand in the Gaza Strip that sells Israeli, British and American Flags.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have on more than one occasion called the UFO Hotline collect from you non-traceable terrorist cellular hand-phone.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have the only authentic Hot Dog concession stand in Iran.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your wife has the hairiest ass and pussy in town.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have a Red Bulls-eye painted on the back of your clothing so the U.S. Marines can see you easier as you run away.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have had a Christian Cross Inverted and tattooed on your forehead.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If more than one member of your family are in prison.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you think the sign of Islam is two Camels fucking under the stars.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If one or more of your family members have tried to set an American Flag on fire and have
also set themselves on fire doing it.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you think a fart in a windstorm is a sign from God that your camel is pregnant.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you think Holy Water is something you use to get your 10-year-old daughter pregnant.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you run a Child Pornography Website from Uzbekistan.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have more flies orbiting your head than Saturn has rings.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you just got indoor plumbing and before anyone flushes the toilet everyone runs in to look at it.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your youngest son has sex with the donkey.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you can drive a bus through a crowd at high speeds.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you had a family wedding picture taken and it really was only your FAMILY.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have an over whelming desire to visit Borneo, eat bananas, and swing through the trees.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If one of your wives is referred to as Nura bint Ahmed bint Saleh Al-Fulani Pork Belly, or just the ‘Fat One Commeth.’

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you wear a terrorist hood to hide your ugly cowardly face.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you play Russian roulette with an unloaded gun.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your children dress up for Halloween as the Three Little Pigs and you’re the Big Bad Wolf.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you go to bed with the taste of a Goats Cock in your mouth and Camel Balls when you wake
up.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If the sound of a public toilet flushing reminds you of your wife’s pussy farts.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have naked picturesof Saddam’s look-alike in your wallet.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you’re the only one in your tribe that can belch, fart, and piss at the same time.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you’re like every other Arab you buy your SEX Slaves from North Korea.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If all the women in your life has more hair on their bodies than a monkey.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you belong to ‘Terrorist Anonymous.’

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have a mailbox in front of your Tent but there is no mail service where you live.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you shove a cigar up your ass before you smoke it.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you wear women’s perfume to hide your true odor.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If naked young boys turn you on!

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If sand fleas jump off the Camels because they prefer you better.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your child keeps eating Camel Dung because he thinks its chocolate.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you use dead turtle shells as diner dishes.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you eat with your hands and wipe them on your clothing.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If people call your daughter a tramp and you just say she’s popular.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your youngest son likes chickens in a sexual way.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you have every episode of ‘I Dream of Genie.’

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you think ‘Save Willy’ is about one of your relatives having a SEX Change.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your under the illusion Ariel Sharon is the terrorist.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you and your Camel both share the same toothbrush.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your daughter got her tongue pierced so she can pleasure her brothers better.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If your idea of entertainment is watching a turd being flushed down a commode.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you’ve ever had your nipple bitten off by a Camel.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If the entire tribe uses your anal canal as their sperm storage tank.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you started a ‘Re-Elect Bush-Cheney’ hotline in Iraq.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If ‘Fiddler on the Roof’ is one of your favorite movies of all time.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you’ve set yourself on fire playing with matches.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you think Pink Floyd is your daughter’s dirty cum filled panties.

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you think ‘SPAMMING’ email and sending Viruses, Trojans, and Worms will stop the ‘Spirit of Humor.’

You May Be A Redneck MUSLIM If you are offended by these JOKES!