Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Jack's Muslim Jokes Part 16


Upside Down Humor said...

The Pig:

A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm.

She passes a person who asks, "Where did you get that?"

The pig quickly responds, "I won her in a Muslim raffle at the Mosque around the corner!"

Mr. Suicide said...


Frank goes into a sex shop and asks for a blow-up doll.
The assistant asks him, "Do you want a white one or a black one?"
Frank says, "A black one, please."
The clerks then asks, "Do you want a Christian one or a Muslim one?"
Frank asks, "What's the difference?"
And the clerk replied, "The Muslim ones blow themselves up."

he he said...

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal Mohammed."
The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan.”
Many years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal Mohammed.
Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

Dead Animal Give Away said...

Abdul and the Professor:
A professor at the University of Texas was giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"
About 15 students raise their hands.
"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"
3 students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"
Way in the back, Abdul, the ugly Towelhead, raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture; no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
Abdul replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Abdul, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"
Abdul replied, "Geeez I from way back there I thought you said, "Goats!"

Simple Calculation said...

The Muslim Promised Land:
Just think about it for a minute.
77 virgins divided by 30 days in a month.
That’s 5 days of PMS plus 5 days on the bloody period rag, plus 5 days of post stress cramping for a total of 15 days.
Yep the poor Muslim ass wipe useless terrorist son of bitch deserves every screaming friggin day of it for the rest of his rotten burning soul.

JACK said...

Muslims In General:

Another Great Original Joke By: JACK

Thinking: I don’t have anything against MUSLIMS.

Thought Resolved: I think everyone should own one or two!

More Great Stuff from Jack said...

The Daily Life of an Arab Muslim:

Another Great Joke Original By: JACK

Here is how a ‘Typical Day’ exists in the life of a Arab Muslim also known as a Camel Jockey, Sand Nigger, Terrorist, Devil Worshipper, Womanizer, Pedophile, or Towel Head …
(1) Rise when nature calls, get up piss on the floor.
(2) Scream at first wife to clean up piss.
(3) Scream at youngest wife, age 10, to stroke his cock and lick his balls.
(4) Go outside, find young sheep, use pig fat for lubricant, fuck sheep in ass fantasize it really is a Pig.
(5) Have second wife fry up some Camel Dung for breakfast.
(6) Find large Camel, stand under Camel while it pees, call this a ‘shower.’
(7) Have morning prayers, fantasize about living in the USA having the good life and eating pizza, pork spare ribs and drinking a Bud Light Beer.
(8) Chase Cobra with stick until it gets mad, then run away like coward.
(9) Make homemade car bomb, blow it up, smile and fantasize about fucking an Israeli virgin.
(10) Join friends for more prayers, jerk off in mosque and discuss ways of killing other sects of Muslims.
(11) Go home, beat wives for an hour, scream and take temper tantrum for no reason, then get youngest wife to lick the sweat of balls and stroke cock, get hard, go outside fuck Donkey.
(12) Go to prayers, tell friends how good Donkey was.
(13) Go home, eat some goat ball soup, drink some sheep’s blood wine and take a nap.
(14) Get up from nap, go back to prayers at mosque talk about growing opium and buying bus ticket to Mecca.
(15) Go home beat wife, jerk pet Monkey off, make 10-year-old youngest wife watch.
(16) Go to mountain, have prayers, watch goats fucking.
(17) Come home, get wives to prepare fresh fish with donkey piss for diner. Pick up fish, stare at lips moving, have fantasy about fish giving blowjobs, eat diner.
(18) Take another 2-hour nap.
(19) Wake up from nap, try and fuck young wife but can’t get it up, have pet goat fuck you up ass instead, jump up beat chest like ape, go outside howl at moon like a dog in heat.
(20) Stick finger up Rooster’s ass wonder why it didn’t lay any eggs today.
(21) Have evening prayers under moonlight. Complain about being tired, beat wives some more, go to sleep, dream of fucking young pigs and wonder why you were not born a Frenchman.

Dick Cheney said...

The Bush Plan:
President Bush and Donald Rumsfeld are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Rumsfeld
sitting over there?"
The barman says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor! . What are
you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WW III."
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Muslims this time and
one blonde with big tits."
The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?"
Bush turns to Rumsfeld and says, "See, I told you no one would worry
about the 140 million Muslims".

Remember This said...

Meal Time:

The only way a Muslim can get a hot meal is when a Jew farts.